I have decided to start a Foundation. A non-profit organisation that raises awareness about a cause very near to my heart. A cause that I know will resonate with many. My new Foundation, the ‘I Have Lost All My Friends To Babies Foundation’ offers support (and wine) to fellow 30 somethings who have found themselves alone and friendless in a time in their lives when they can actually afford to party well.
Yep, it’s sad. I have a disposable income, a witty personality, a ‘can-do’ positive attitude, the ability to drink and dance well into the night (and often morning) yet no one to enjoy it all with.
Don’t pity me too much though, I do have a Husband who I get to share the fun times with, however, we need more. We aren’t the couple who can spend every waking minute with each other and not get bored. We are the couple who go on a romantic holiday together and end up making friends with young singles at the swim up bar and join them on their bar crawl.
We spent our twenties working hard. We got married relatively young, at 26 and thought we would hold off on starting a family and continue working on our careers with bits of travel in between.
It started off well. We had a few different groups of friends so never struggled to find a fellow couple to go out with or holiday with (oh, how I miss the good ‘ol days).
Then, about 2 years into our marriage it started. Girlfriends talking about “trying” and pregnancy announcements coming at us left, right and centre. At first we would make jokes, like “another one bites the dust” and say smug little things like “oh well, we still have Mark and Sally, they are so un-hinged, surely they wouldn’t think of bringing children into their world!”
Next minute – there was no one left! We found ourselves alone, sitting at home on a Saturday night drinking Camomile Tea and watching pre-recorded episodes of Banged Up Abroad.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, we certainly want children of our own one day, it just hasn’t happened for us yet. And since when did being married and 30 mean people can start hounding you for being childless? I am sorry, but I thought 30 was young?
Apparently my eggs are ‘old and ruined’ (my Mothers exact words) and I am going to have to hurry up and get pregnant or I will end up getting mistaken for a Grandmother at my future child’s primary school (another sentence that came out of my loving Mother’s mouth).
In all honesty, I am selfish as hell. I love nothing more than waking up on a Sunday morning and lying in bed with the Husband for an hour listening to music before we get up and head to brunch (without a huge bag filled with nappies and baby snacks). I hear all my Mummy friends snickering right now,
“Ha! As if lying in bed with our little munchkin watching Frozen isn’t way more fun than that?!”
I get it guys, you know I love Frozen just as much your little girls do but I just really like my alone time. Alone time is great. Just not too much of it……
We reached all kinds of lows during our Saturday “alone” times. At one point I even said to Husband, “Why don’t we see what my parents are up to tonight?” He gave me a look, half pity, half don’t be so f***ing stupid and then it hit me. Surely there are other young couples out there just like us? Surely not everyone has succumbed to those cute little bundles of dribble?
I suggested we put an ad on Gumtree but that was immediately shut down by husband (he crushes all my bright ideas) so I decided to start the Foundation instead. Well it isn’t a Foundation yet, because well, c’mon, starting a legit Foundation is like way hard. But I am looking for new couple friends to spend long weekends in the country with…… if you can relate to my first world problem (and you prefer a Mimosa in the morning rather than Coffee when on holidays) then please apply within.
I promise we will drink red wine with you on a school night!
I promise we will get excited when you get a promotion at work, or land a huge client!
I promise I won’t go home after coffee and say things like, “Oh, Jane just doesn’t realise how much more satisfaction you get from a child rather than a career” I promise we won’t do that to you, mythical Jane.
I promise I will let you say you love your dog as much as if it were a child! I will certainly not say “You think that now but wait until your baby comes along. Your dog will be booted outside and not allowed on the couch” (I still can’t look at that particular friend the same way since she said that to me. Foxy Cleopatra and I hugged extra hard on the couch that evening, let me tell ya!)
And most of all, I promise we won’t leave you to make tiny humans (yet)!